A couple of months before the move I was at a cafe with my mum when I broke down in tears because I didn’t know what to do with my future. So, mum told me that maybe I should go to University because it’s where all my friends would be and I’d get lonely if I stayed in my home town.
This year I took that advice and decided to move to the city to go to University.
I was excited but also incredibly nervous and anxious for what my Uni life would bring me.
I packed up my things and moved to student accommodation (which is a whole other story for another time) and started a Bachelor of Arts majoring in Journalism.
Honestly, I chose journalism because at the time I thought it would be pretty cool and it was something a little more creative, but I also didn’t know what I wanted to do with my career (and to be honest I still don’t know) so I just chose it as my best option for achieving.
As a person who suffers with anxiety I was completely crapping myself to start the first week of classes and meet new people and even try to find my way around the campus.
It was terrifying.
I did it though, I made it through the first semester…. and then the second. Which is something I am proud of.
The thing is, I just didn’t enjoy my time there. It wasn’t the work that I didn’t like, but the environment. I can’t describe it, but it didn’t make me feel settled or comfortable.
University has been the worst year of my life. It’s ridiculous how much it has impacted on my emotional and mental health.
I had never felt so alone. I was surrounded by people who knew what they wanted and had the drive to achieve that. And I stayed there for a year because I thought that maybe after a couple of months I’d begin to like it.
Well, after a couple of months I went from hating it to absolutely loathing it. A key pointer to the fact that I probably wouldn’t enjoy it for the rest of my degree if I continued.
LISTEN TO YOURSELVES MY ANGELS!!!
I had to learn everything the hard way.
I don’t regret going because it has helped me figure out that it isn’t what I want to do and I’m one step closer to realising my potential and goals in the world.
The thing is, I kinda always knew that I didn’t want to go to University simply because I never knew what I wanted to do so what was the point of studying something that I knew in my heart I didn’t really love.
That’s not to say that there are some people out there who didn’t know what they wanted to do but have actually found the career path for themselves by going to University and chasing courses to suit their liking. I do admire that courage. But that’s not what happened in my case obviously.
I became more confused about what I liked and didn’t like. I started to crave adventure, and I started to crave travel.
I couldn’t be happier with my choice to stop attending University.
You never know, maybe when I’m older and more matured and have had the time to explore my being, maybe then I will go back to University.
I believe that I should let my life go where it wants to go, and I will discover my true place in this world one day when I’m not trying too hard, when I’m not seeking it, when I’m not forcing it.
My lovelies, I hope you too have the courage to stop what you don’t enjoy and let the universe point you in the right direction.
Until next time, Angels…
Lots of love,