As some of you may know, most of you probably don’t though, I suffer with not only Anxiety but Depression, too.
For about a year and a half now, I’ve suffered with depression that’s had me lose friends, eat junk food non-stop and gain over 15kg, and isolate myself from people around me because I felt ashamed of myself.
Then, 4 weeks ago, I took a massive 180º turn.
I joined the gym.
I know, I know, it probably sounds so cliche, but hear me out.
Once I admitted to my problem – sitting in bed on my days off work (before and after work too) and eating junk food all the time – I took a massive step and signed up for the gym, the most causal gym you could find.
For years and years I despised any physical exercise at all.
Here’s why I think that is;
I believe that because I’ve been told so often that I need to be active, it had a reverse psychology effect on my brain.
I rebelled against my body and the science behind staying fit and I payed the price physically and mentally by letting myself fall into a bad mindset but I wasn’t doing anything to change.
However, within the first 5 minutes in the gym I felt like I had an awakening.
I realised that, instead of being nervous about people watching me, or feeling silly doing the machines because people would judge me, no, I was capable of doing it all.
I went to the gym four times in that week.
0 to 100, I know, but I felt like I wanted to go every day of the week because it took away my toxic thoughts and anxious attitude towards everything in my life.
I notice my negative thoughts take over when I don’t go, even for just one day, it’s incredible how much one day of laziness can affect my mentality.
It’s been four weeks since I stepped into that gym and I feel like I could fly.
It’s the most dramatic change in my wellbeing and all because of this one decision.
It’s true what people say, that being active everyday does wonders for the mind. Unfortunately it took me a long time to realise it.
Without people pushing me, without feeling like I was being pressured to go, without someone suggesting for me to go, I went.
I hope to keep going to the gym because I feel free and confident.
So, for anyone reading this who also struggles with mental illness, just know, coming from a former fitness hater, I understand that sometimes it’s hard to get up and make the effort, but the effort is worth it in every single way.
Lots of love,
Disclaimer: This is what personally helped me to heal my depression, I am not a professional nor am I an expert, this is just what worked for me.
I do not own the image used.